Data Processing Job Descriptions

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DATA PROCESSING MANAGER
  Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
    Is more powerful than a locomotive
      Is faster than a speeding bullet
        Walks on water
          Gives policy to God

ASSISTANT DP MANAGER
  Leaps short buildings in a single bound
    Is more powerful than a switch engine
      Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
        Walks on water if the sea is calm
          Talks with God

SENIOR SYSTEMS ANALYST
  Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
    Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
      Is faster than a speeding BB
        Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
          Talks with God if special request is approved

SYSTEM ANALYST
  Barely clears a quonset hut
    Loses tug of war with locomotive
      Can fire a speeding bullet
        Swims well
          Is occasionally addressed by God

LEAD PROGRAMMER
  Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
    Is run over by locomotives
      Can sometimes handle a gun without hurting himself
        Dog paddles
          Talks to animals

SENIOR PROGRAMMER
  Runs into buildings
    Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
      Is not issued ammunition
        Can stay afloat with a life jacket
          Talks to walls

MAINTENANCE PROGRAMMER
  Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building
    Says "Look at the Choo Choo"
      Wets himself with a water pistol
        Plays in mud puddles
          Mumbles to himself

PROGRAMMER
  Lifts buildings and walks under them
    Kicks locomotives off the tracks
      Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them
        Freezes water with a single glance
          He IS God