Gender Stereotypes
BBS: Channel 1 Communications 1-617-354-3137
Date: 08-23-89 (12:16) Number: 2940
To: BETSY SCHWARTZ Refer#: 2931
From: TOM REVAY Read: NO
Subj: GENDER STEROTYPES Conf: (16) Converse
BS> Sigh..I'm not convinced that men are BORN bad,,so maybe one or two
BS>are still ok human beings after puberty...
A female collegue gave me this:
Men & Women are NOT alike. Sure, you thought you knew that. But now we
have proof! After countless hours of surveys & studies on the following
topics, these facts have emerged:
Relationships: First of all, a man does not call a relationship a
relationship -- he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie was doing
it on a regular basis." When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and
pour her heart out to her girlfriends, an dshe will write a poem titled
"All Men Are Idiots." Then she will get on with her life. A man has a
little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3am on
a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know
you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you and you're
a total floozy!" This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken
ohone call, that 99% of al men have made at least once. There are
community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need;
alas, these classes rarely prove effective.
Sex: women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45
seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of
the foreplay.
Maturity: women mature much faster than men. Most 17 year old females
can function as adults. Most 17 year old males are still trading
baseball cards and giving eacy other wedgies after gym class. This is why
high school romances rarely work.
Handwriting: to their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They
just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored staonary and they dot
their "i's" with little circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large
loops in their "p's" & "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a
woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end
of the note.
Bathrooms: A man has at most six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from
the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's
bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these
items.
Groceries: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the
store and buys them. A man waits until the only items left in the
'fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes
grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man
reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the
Clampett's car on _The Beverly Hillbillies_. Of course, this will not
stop him from getting into the "10 Items or Less" lane.
Going out: When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready
to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means that she
WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes
putting on her makeup ...
Cats: women love cats. Men say the love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.
Offspring: ah, children! A woman knows all about children! She knows
about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends
and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vague
aware of some short people living in the house.
Dressing up: a woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man
will dress up for weddings and funerals.
David Letterman: Men think that David Letterman is the funniest man on
Earth. Women think he is a mean, dorky guy with a bad haircut.
Laundry: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every
article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip
about 8 years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out
of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside-out, rent a U-Haul,
and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to
meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth.
Weddings: when reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the
ceremony." Men talk about "the bachelor party."
Socks: men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks.
Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have
pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
Nicknames: If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for
lunch, they will call each other by name. But if Mike, Dave, Rob, and
Jack go out for a brewski, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Bullet-head, Godzilla, Pudge, and Useless.
...................Tom
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* QDeLuxe 1.10 #2345 I'm in a few of those ... 8-)