Computers Are Better Than Men/Women Because:
- A computer can wait forever for you
- A computer doesn't compare you with it's past users
- A computer doesn't get calls from it's past users while you're logged in
- A computer doesn't mind how excited you get
- A computer doesn't tell you how completely teriffic it's past users have been
- A computer is big in all the right places
- A computer never forgets your birthday
- A computer won't ask, "Are you in?"
- A computer won't ask, "Is there another computer?"
- A computer won't even talk about marriage
- A computer won't fall in love with you just because you have sex
- A computer won't get bitchy if you're slow to respond
- A computer won't grade you on how much you send it
- A computer won't look through your checkbook
- A computer won't mind how many other accounts you have.
- A computer won't say, "Let's just be friends"
- A computer won't shave with your razor
- A computer's maintainance personel don't cross-examine you every time you logon
- Computers are easy to turn on
- Computers are ready when you are
- Computers are very responsive
- Computers aren't into finding out how far you'll go to keep your account
- Computers do everything you tell them to
- Computers don't care about age differences
- Computers don't care if you're married
- Computers don't get pregnant
- Computers don't get upset if you use other computers
- Computers don't insist on foreplay
- Computers don't leave hair in your teeth
- Computers don't make you meet their parents
- Computers don't mind if you share them with a friend
- Computers don't mind spending hours on the phone with you
- Computers don't play head games unless you ask them to
- Computers never ask you to call them in the morning
- Computers never have headaches...or take rainchecks... or have a curfew... or have that time of the month
- Computers won't mind if you don't like their friends
- If you don't like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a minute
- Size doesn't count to a computer
- The average computer session lasts four hours
- There's a simple, easy command to get a computer to go down on you
- With a computer, you never have to say you're sorry
- With a computer, you never have to wear a condom
- You can log into several computers at once
- You can turn off a computer
- You can visit a computer any time you like, and it'll be up and ready for you
- You don't have to tell computers you love them
The Existentialist
%flames >/dev/null